Tyler: Okay, uh... why are we wearing helmets?
Shope: That we can't see out of?
Memnock: Because besides your eyes and fists, you must also learn to feel the battle and fight it with your minds.
Roach: Sounds good, awesome trainers of ours who train us.
Roach: Thank you.
Zenblock: Uh-huh. Yeah, whatever.
Kevin: What was that? What was that?!
Zenblock: And... start simulated invisible attack they must stop by feeling!
Noobs: [various screams]
Memnock: Well, they're definitely feeling the battle.
Roach: [deep growl]
Zenblock: Oh no. It's happening.
Memnock: He's got the destruction drone...
Kevin: What's going on? Who's doing all that roaring?
Memnock: Now he's got Shope.
Zenblock: Now Shope is screaming.
Memnock: Looks like it's Tyler's turn.
Zenblock: Ooh, that had to hurt.
Tyler: [whimpers] It did. Yeah.
Memnock and Zenblock: Move!
Roach: [deep panting]
Memnock: Roach, everything is okay. I'm taking your helmet off now.
Roach: So how did we do?
Tyler, Kevin, and Shope: [groaning]
Roach: Ooh. Looks like somebody failed the test.
XR4Ti: Noobs now fully bandaged and currently healing.
Shope: Okay, so... what is going on with the Roach?!
Zenblock: Hey, look. We warned you, the green battleball has, on occasion, malfunctioned and turned its carrier evil.
Kevin: You never told us that!
Memnock: Oh. Well, we're tellin' you now.
Tyler: Well, where is the Roach now?
Zenblock: Um, we asked him if he wouldn't mind testing some new equipment of ours.
Roach: This is working great, guys. I can't move at all.
Zenblock: Okay, so no matter. It was a mild green ball surge, so no harm done.
Shope: Mild? That was mild? I'd hate to see a bad green ball malfunction!
Memnock: Oh, that'd be green battleball malfunction 32.193 on Glocoz 7.
Alien 1: No sign of the virus, but we continue our search. Wait, what was that? What the...? What happened to you?!
Alien 2: [growls]
Memnock: The green warrior then changed his name to "Annihilatron" and ruled Glocoz 7 'til it imploded on itself about five years later.
Zenblock: So again, you know, don't sweat it. Just keep an eye on Roach and report back if you see anything, you know... [sinisterly] evil...
Roach: [eating loudly] Why are you guys still in your battle suits? Is... there something wrong?
Tyler: Uh, we mean, you know, we just like them. Why? Do you feel like something is wrong?
Roach: [choking] Yes!
Kevin: It's happening, man! We gotta stop him before he destroys--
Roach: Bleh! Bleh! I was choking on a pretzel. Now, what do you say we go to my house and have some fun. Whee! [humming]
Tyler: Okay. He seems totally fine.
Shope: Until he gets us over to his house, becomes evil, and eats us.
Kevin: I agree with the girl.
Tyler: Stop. There's nothing evil about the Roach. So we are gonna go to his house and have fun.
Roach: [laughs evilly]
Shope: Not having fun!
Roach: I have a.... [sinisterly] surprise for you.
Kevin: So do we. Go, battle swords now!
Tyler, Kevin, and Shope: [grunting]
Kevin: Wait, what's with the flowers?
Roach: I'm thinking about becoming a magician when I grow up, but now I need new magic sleeve flowers...
Tyler: We'll get new ones for you, 'cause you wanna be a magician who wears a black cape and not be evil.
Kevin: Right. Sorry buddy. How can we make it up to you?
Roach: You get the snacks and we can play with my stuff downstairs.
Shope: Great, snacks and games. We'll meet you downstairs.
Roach: Whee! [humming]
Tyler: Okay. We're gonna stop overreacting now. And let's have some fun because everything is fine, and you know, maybe laugh a little? [laughs]
Tyler, Kevin, and Shope: [laughing]
Shope, Tyler, and Kevin: [laughing continues]
Roach: [deep gravelly voice] Did you get the snacks?
Tyler: [gulps] Yeah...
Roach: Then I guess it's time to play.
Kevin: Can we blast him now?
Shope: Please say yes.
Roach: [normal voice] With my super fun effects fun time microphone! [deep gravelly voice] It makes any voice sound evil. [high-pitched voice] Or like a chipmunk! [normal voice] Or like an evil chipmunk. [slightly high-pitched voice] I will rule the world! [chuckles]
Shope: [chuckles] Heh, cool.
Roach: Okay. Well, I gotta get going. I've got something very important I'm working on in my garage. Whee! [humming]
Tyler: Okay. Now I think we can safely say that the Roach is not turning evil.
Kevin: Really? What's so important he's working on in his garage? [deep gravelly voice] World domination? A doomsday device?
Tyler: Turn that off! It's the Roach! He is the nicest kid in the entire galaxy.
Shope: Which is why we are not gonna worry he's plotting the Earth's demise in the garage and just go home.
Shope: Told you he was turning evil!
Kevin: Electro-blast him!
[Super Noobs battle theme]
Roach: [screams] [grunts] Okay, what's going on?
Kevin: You mean whatever was going on is now over, evil green ball villain!
Roach: I'm rehearsing for the school play. Remember? I'm the lead in The Princess Fighter and The Evil Caped King? I made my own throne.
Tyler: Right. And you rehearse with your battleball 'cause it gives you confidence!
Tyler: Which is now sparking oddly.
Shope: And malfunctioning 'cause I blasted him when he didn't need to be blasted.
Kevin: Darn it, Shope!
Tyler: You told me to do it!
Roach: [deep growl]
Tyler, Shope, and Kevin: [scream]
Tyler: Yep. He's evil.
Roach: [as Destroyon] Puny warriors, this Earth will soon bow down to the dark and endless rule of... Destroyon.
Tyler: Destroyon. [chuckles] That's a nice and evil name, but can we talk about this like friends?
Tyler, Kevin, and Shope: [scream]
Zenblock: What;s going on?
XR4Ti: Surge levels of the green battle ball are off the charts. I'm sensing oncoming danger.
Memnock: Like what?
Memnock: Oh no.
Memnock: And what is that noise?
Tyler, Kevin, and Shope: [screaming]
Tyler, Kevin, and Shope: [grunt]
Kevin: Was that really necessary?
Zenblock: Okay. If we can get the Roach onto the plasma lock and harness-sphere, we could subdue him and snag the green battleball!
Shope: And how are you gonna get him here?
Memnock: Oh right. That's a toughie.
Zenblock: No wait, that was easy.
Memnock and Zenblock: [scream and groan]
Memnock: Nope. It's a toughie again.
Zenblock: Ugh. I never wanted to hurt you Roach, 'cause you're like, so nice, but arm blasters, go!
Roach: You cannot stop Destroyon.
Zenblock: Ooh! [groans]
Memnock: Wow. Huge green battleball malfunction, but I like the name.
Zenblock: Yeah, it's catchy and... oh crud.
Memnock and Zenblock: [scream]
Shope: Okay. He just stopped Mem and Zen in 3.8 seconds, which means we're doomed.
Roach: Once I take command of this vessel, I will take control of this world.
Shope: [whispers] Try connecting to his inner Roach.
Tyler: Roach. We know you are in there and we need you to come out.
Roach: There is no more Roach, only Destroyon.
Tyler: Well yes, but if you take over the world, who will take the lead in the school play?
Roach: What is... school play?
Kevin: It's where you play the evil king and sit in your throne, remember?
Shope: And everyone cheers your name, because you are so massive and look bigger in the almighty throne!
Roach: Yes, Destroyon will be king. And I like thrones.
Tyler: That's it. Have a nice comfy seat, you ultimate ruler, you.
Shope, Tyler, and Kevin: Sweet!
Roach: Fools. I will destroy all of you. This is my world now. Ahh.
Roach: [normal voice] Hi guys. Um, how did I get here? Did we have fun? I like ham.
Memnock: Uh, you turned evil, little dude.
Zenblock: But now we will fix the green battleball like we fixed the red battleball when it malfunctioned.
Tyler: Hold on. The red battleball turned people evil, too?
XR4Ti: Yes, but we fixed it before we came to Earth.
Shope: Wait, where is Kevin?
Kevin: [as Adventicus] I am Adventicus, and I am here to rule your world!
Tyler, Roach, Shope, Zenblock, and Memnock: [groan] Here we go again. [screaming and grunting]