Tyrannosaurus Noob/Transcripts
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Tyler: Okay, uh... why are we wearing helmets?

Shope: That we can't see out of?


Memnock: Because besides your eyes and fists, you must also learn to feel the battle and fight it with your minds.

Roach: Sounds good, awesome trainers of ours who train us.


Roach: Thank you.

Zenblock: Uh-huh. Yeah, whatever.

Kevin: What was that? What was that?!

[alarms blaring]

Zenblock: And... start simulated invisible attack they must stop by feeling!

Kevin: [screams]

Shope: [screams]

Kevin: [screams]

Roach: Oh!

Noobs: [various screams]

Memnock: Well, they're definitely feeling the battle.

Roach: [deep growl]

Zenblock: Oh no. It's happening.

Roach: [growling]


Memnock: He's got the destruction drone...

Kevin: What's going on? Who's doing all that roaring?

Roach: [growling]

Shope: [screaming]

Memnock: Now he's got Shope.

Zenblock: Now Shope is screaming.

Tyler: Help!

Memnock: Looks like it's Tyler's turn.


Zenblock: Ooh, that had to hurt.

Tyler: [whimpers] It did. Yeah.


Roach: [growling]

Memnock and Zenblock: Move!

Roach: [deep panting]

Memnock: Roach, everything is okay. I'm taking your helmet off now.

Roach: So how did we do?

Tyler, Kevin, and Shope: [groaning]

Roach: Ooh. Looks like somebody failed the test.

XR4Ti: Noobs now fully bandaged and currently healing.

Shope: Okay, so... what is going on with the Roach?!

Zenblock: Hey, look. We warned you, the green battleball has, on occasion, malfunctioned and turned its carrier evil.

Kevin: You never told us that!

Memnock: Oh. Well, we're tellin' you now.

Tyler: Well, where is the Roach now?

Zenblock: Um, we asked him if he wouldn't mind testing some new equipment of ours.

Roach: This is working great, guys. I can't move at all.

Memnock: Good.

Zenblock: Okay, so no matter. It was a mild green ball surge, so no harm done.

Shope: Mild? That was mild? I'd hate to see a bad green ball malfunction!

Memnock: Oh, that'd be green battleball malfunction 32.193 on Glocoz 7.

Alien 1: No sign of the virus, but we continue our search. Wait, what was that? What the...? What happened to you?!

Alien 2: [growls]

Memnock: The green warrior then changed his name to "Annihilatron" and ruled Glocoz 7 'til it imploded on itself about five years later.

Zenblock: So again, you know, don't sweat it. Just keep an eye on Roach and report back if you see anything, you know... [sinisterly] evil...

Roach: [eating loudly] Why are you guys still in your battle suits? Is... there something wrong?

Kevin: No.

Tyler: No!

Shope: No.

Tyler: Uh, we mean, you know, we just like them. Why? Do you feel like something is wrong?

Roach: [choking] Yes!

Kevin: It's happening, man! We gotta stop him before he destroys--

Roach: Bleh! Bleh! I was choking on a pretzel. Now, what do you say we go to my house and have some fun. Whee! [humming]

Tyler: Okay. He seems totally fine.

Shope: Until he gets us over to his house, becomes evil, and eats us.

Kevin: I agree with the girl.

Tyler: Stop. There's nothing evil about the Roach. So we are gonna go to his house and have fun.

Roach: [laughs evilly]

Shope: Not having fun!

Roach: I have a.... [sinisterly] surprise for you.

Kevin: So do we. Go, battle swords now!

Roach: Ta-da!

Tyler, Kevin, and Shope: [grunting]

Kevin: Wait, what's with the flowers?

Roach: I'm thinking about becoming a magician when I grow up, but now I need new magic sleeve flowers...

Tyler: We'll get new ones for you, 'cause you wanna be a magician who wears a black cape and not be evil.

Kevin: Right. Sorry buddy. How can we make it up to you?

Roach: You get the snacks and we can play with my stuff downstairs.

Shope: Great, snacks and games. We'll meet you downstairs.

Roach: Whee! [humming]

Tyler: Okay. We're gonna stop overreacting now. And let's have some fun because everything is fine, and you know, maybe laugh a little? [laughs]

Tyler, Kevin, and Shope: [laughing]

Shope, Tyler, and Kevin: [laughing continues]

Roach: [deep gravelly voice] Did you get the snacks?

Tyler: [gulps] Yeah...

Roach: Then I guess it's time to play.

Kevin: Can we blast him now?

Shope: Please say yes.

Roach: [normal voice] With my super fun effects fun time microphone! [deep gravelly voice] It makes any voice sound evil. [high-pitched voice] Or like a chipmunk! [normal voice] Or like an evil chipmunk. [slightly high-pitched voice] I will rule the world! [chuckles]

Shope: [chuckles] Heh, cool.

Roach: Okay. Well, I gotta get going. I've got something very important I'm working on in my garage. Whee! [humming]

Tyler: Okay. Now I think we can safely say that the Roach is not turning evil.

Kevin: Really? What's so important he's working on in his garage? [deep gravelly voice] World domination? A doomsday device?

Tyler: Turn that off! It's the Roach! He is the nicest kid in the entire galaxy.

Shope: Which is why we are not gonna worry he's plotting the Earth's demise in the garage and just go home.


Shope: Told you he was turning evil!

Kevin: Electro-blast him!

[Super Noobs battle theme]

[electricity crackles]

Roach: [screams] [grunts] Okay, what's going on?

Kevin: You mean whatever was going on is now over, evil green ball villain!

Roach: I'm rehearsing for the school play. Remember? I'm the lead in The Princess Fighter and The Evil Caped King? I made my own throne.

Tyler: Right. And you rehearse with your battleball 'cause it gives you confidence!

[battleball crackles]

Tyler: Which is now sparking oddly.

[battleball sparks]

Shope: And malfunctioning 'cause I blasted him when he didn't need to be blasted.

Kevin: Darn it, Shope!

Tyler: You told me to do it!

Roach: [deep growl]

Tyler, Shope, and Kevin: [scream]

Roach: [growling]

Tyler: Yep. He's evil.

Roach: [as Destroyon] Puny warriors, this Earth will soon bow down to the dark and endless rule of... Destroyon.

Tyler: Destroyon. [chuckles] That's a nice and evil name, but can we talk about this like friends?

Tyler, Kevin, and Shope: [scream]

[alarms blaring]

Zenblock: What's going on?

XR4Ti: Surge levels of the green battle ball are off the charts. I'm sensing oncoming danger.

Memnock: Like what?

[civilians scream]

Roach: [growls]

Memnock: Oh no.


Memnock: And what is that noise?

Tyler, Kevin, and Shope: [screaming]


Tyler, Kevin, and Shope: [grunt]

Kevin: Was that really necessary?

Zenblock: Okay. If we can get the Roach onto the plasma lock and harness-sphere, we could subdue him and snag the green battleball!

Shope: And how are you gonna get him here?

Memnock: Oh right. That's a toughie.



Zenblock: No wait, that was easy.

Memnock and Zenblock: [scream and groan]

Memnock: Nope. It's a toughie again.

Zenblock: Ugh. I never wanted to hurt you Roach, 'cause you're like, so nice, but arm blasters, go!


Roach: You cannot stop Destroyon.

Zenblock: Ooh! [groans]

Memnock: Wow. Huge green battleball malfunction, but I like the name.

Zenblock: Yeah, it's catchy and... oh crud.

Memnock and Zenblock: [scream]

Shope: Okay. He just stopped Mem and Zen in 3.8 seconds, which means we're doomed.

Roach: Once I take command of this vessel, I will take control of this world.

Shope: [whispers] Try connecting to his inner Roach.

Tyler: Roach. We know you are in there and we need you to come out.

Roach: There is no more Roach, only Destroyon.

Tyler: Well yes, but if you take over the world, who will take the lead in the school play?

Roach: What is... school play?

Kevin: It's where you play the evil king and sit in your throne, remember?

Shope: And everyone cheers your name, because you are so massive and look bigger in the almighty throne!

Roach: Yes, Destroyon will be king. And I like thrones.

Tyler: That's it. Have a nice comfy seat, you ultimate ruler, you.

XR4Ti: Locking.

Shope, Tyler, and Kevin: Sweet!

Roach: Fools. I will destroy all of you. This is my world now. Ahh.

[doorbell rings]

Roach: [normal voice] Hi guys. Um, how did I get here? Did we have fun? I like ham.

Memnock: Uh, you turned evil, little dude.

Zenblock: But now we will fix the green battleball like we fixed the red battleball when it malfunctioned.

Tyler: Hold on. The red battleball turned people evil, too?

XR4Ti: Yes, but we fixed it before we came to Earth.

Shope: Wait, where is Kevin?

Kevin: [as Adventicus] I am Adventicus, and I am here to rule your world!

Tyler, Roach, Shope, Zenblock, and Memnock: [groan] Here we go again. [screaming and grunting]

Kevin: [growling]