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License to Noob/Transcripts
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Zooper Noobs!/Transcripts


Noobs: [panting]

Shope: Hurry up! I don't wanna miss tonight's meteor shower.

Tyler: It's ten o'clock in the morning!

Shope: But I wanna get a good spot.

Kevin: I don't think that's gonna be a problem.

Roach: [humming]

Tyler: What are you doing?

Roach: Getting ready for the shower.

Shope: It's a meteor shower!

Roach: I know. I just don't wanna get meteor on my clothes.

Shope, Kevin, and Tyler: You'll be fine!

Roach: Okay then. Why don't we lay back and look at the clouds? Because when you use your imagination, you can see different shapes in the clouds.

Shope: My cloud looks like Albert Einstein.

Kevin: My cloud looks like Albert Einstein.

Shope: You're cloud cheating.

Roach: I don't know what my cloud looks like.

Shope: Seriously?

Tyler: Uhh... My cloud looks like a giant evil robot about to smash into the Earth.

[whistle, crash]

Count Venamus: Yoohoo! Look who's back!

Tyler: It's Count Venamus!

Count Venamus: It is I, Count Venamus.

Shope: He's come here to destroy us just like he's promised!

Count Venamus: I have come here to destroy you, just like I promised!

Kevin: He's a giant dorkosaurus!

Count Venamus: I am a giant dorkos-- Hey! I've come here to destroy the Super Noobs, just as I swore I would. And then let the virus finally destroy Earth!

Tyler: Boys... and girl, go battleball!

Count Venamus: Ooh, I'm so scared.

Tyler: Okay. You guys keep him busy while Roach flies me behind him so I can read his mind and get his evil plan!

Kevin and Shope: Distraction mode activate! [screaming]

Count Venamus: What are they doing? It's very distracting!

Tyler: Got to find out... his evil plan.

Count Venamus: Your mind-reading power won't work. My superbot has a neurofirewall. So you will never learn the meteor shower is actually thousands of virus pods coming to infect the Earth!

Minion 1: [whispering indistinctly]

Count Venamus: I did what?

Minion 1: [whispers more]

Count Venamus: Darn it!

Kevin: There is no way those meteors will ever make it to Earth!

Count Venamus: Yes, they will! And now, prepare to be destroyed by my super-powered robot!

Shope: This is so wrong.

[fart]

Noobs: [groan]

Kevin: Okay, robot was kinda awesome. We have to stop that bot!

Roach: The Roach! [grunts] Perhaps if we tried Shope's electrical blast.

Shope: Electric blast, go!

[crackle]

[clunk]

Shope: Ha! The Venabot's arms are no match for my electric arms! Huh? [screams]

Kevin: Then it looks like it's time to be a strong and leaping... aperoo! [hooting like a monkey]

Count Venamus: Seriously? I'm in an awesome space robot!

Kevin: [screams and grunts]

Tyler: Uhh... Ready to give up?

Count Venamus: [sinister chuckle] Why not?

Kevin: Okay, what just happened? Why did he give up?

Shope: He was just two seconds away from completely annihilating us and he just... leaves?

Tyler: We have to figure this out.

Roach: Okay. But first, get me out of here.

Kevin: Dude, you have superpowers.

Roach: Right... Oh! Right.

Tyler: Quick, to the Galacticus! We have to stop that meteor shower.

[virus pods swoosh]

Tyler: Bad news. Count Venamus is back and he's a giant Venabot!

Memnock: Uh huh. That's too bad.

Roach: And a virus pod meteor shower is headed towards Earth.

Zenblock: Please! We're very busy right now!

Shope: Hello?! Destruction of Earth kind of important!

Memnock: Huh? Oh. Oh! The XR4Ti can blast those virus pods right out of the sky!

Noobs: Yay!

Memnock: If she wasn't busy updating her operator system right now.

Kevin: She's in sleep mode?! Wake her up!

Zenblock: Uh, can't. She gets cranky if she's woken up mid-update.

Memnock: So we have to constantly monitor the entire process.

Tyler: So what do we do?

Zenblock: Well, okay. Now, if I were you Noobs, I would defeat the Venabot and stop those virus pods from destroying the Earth.

Count Venamus: Yoohoo! [sing-song] Anybody home? Perhaps I should knock a little... harder!

[clunk]

Roach: He's smashing the ship.

Zenblock: Really? I did not know that!

Count Venamus: You fools led me right to your ship, the only thing that could stop the virus pod meteor shower. And now, I'm going to destroy it.

[explosion]

Shope: Ohhh, that's why he let us go before.

Kevin: Wake her up!

Memnock and Zenblock: We can't wake her up!

[metal clunking]

Count Venamus: [singing] I like smashing things! I like smashing things!

Tyler: We need a plan fast!

Memnock: Uhh, okay. You Noobs go out and battle Count Venamus while we wait for the XR4Ti.

Kevin: I hate that plan!

Zenblock: Well, we can turn the spaceship into a giant robot and battle him, but we never read the manual. We just hate manuals.

Tyler: Push every button and pull every lever!

[panicked screaming]

[clunking]

Roach: It's not working!

Tyler: How can we have all these superpowers and we can't do a thing to stop Venamus?!

[whirring]

Memnock: Throw your battleballs!

[whirring]

Count Venamus: What? [groans] Now I have to start all over again!

[mechanical whirring]

Count Venamus: Oh... crud.

Zenblock: Man the controls!

Tyler: Okay, gang. Let's kick some Venabutt.

[clunk]

Shope: Uh, maybe we should practice first?

Roach: Yeah. Controlling giant space robots is hard.

[mechanical whirring]

Count Venamus: [groans]

[mechanical whirring and squeaking]

Tyler: Okay. Now let's kick some Venabutt!

Kevin: But let's do it quick because here come the meteors!

[clunking]

Count Venamus: Pile driver!

Roach: Roundhouse kick!

Tyler: Time for the old one-two!

Kevin: Dude, I don't know what that means!

Tyler: Just follow my lead.

[blast]

Roach: This is fun.

Shope: Robot battlehead, go!

Count Venamus: Two can play at that game!

[blasting]

[clunking]

Count Venamus: [panting] Truce! Truce! These old bots get awfully hot, don't you think?

Shope: No way, Venamus! We're not dumb enough to fall for that!

Count Venamus: I'll get out of my robot first.

Noobs: Eh.

Count Venamus: Let's get to know each other. I'll go first. I have a remote control for my robot! Ha!

[clunking]

Shope: I can't believe we were dumb enough to fall for that!

Zenblock: Eh, something tells me the Noobs are losing.

Memnock: Yeah, me too.

Count Venamus: [singing] I like smashing things! I like smashing things!

Tyler: Mem and Zen are still inside!

Shope: And the virus is almost here!

Roach: Wait! I have a plan. [screams]

Kevin: Works for me.

Shope, Kevin, and Tyler: [screaming]

Count Venamus: What is that noise? [grunts] What the heck? I don't need a robot to finish you off!

Tyler: But we do. [beeps]

Count Venamus: Oh... crud. Wait, I already said that. [grunts]

Roach, Kevin, and Tyler: Victory!

Shope: Uh, guys! Might wanna hold off on the celebration!

Memnock: Too bad about Earth.

Zenblock: Yeah, but what are you gonna do?

XR4Ti: I'm going to crush you both, but right after I fix what you've done to my ship.

Tyler: Looks like XR4Ti is back online!

XR4Ti: Good afternoon, Noobs. How may I help you?

Tyler: Can you stop the world from ending?

XR4Ti: Engaging virus meteors.

Shope: Hoho... best meteor shower ever!

Count Venamus: But what about Count Venamus? I wonder if he'll be back to cause more mayhem! Oh, right. He will!

Zenblock: Great job, Noobs! You did it.

Memnock: Now, what do we do with this robot.

Tyler: Let the Ultimate Robot Fighting Championship begin!

Memnock, Zenblock, and the Noobs: [cheering]

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