Noobot vs. Venabot/Transcripts
XR4Ti: Super Noobs are officially one hour late for training.
Tyler: Sorry we're late for training!
Kevin: Yeah, it took us forever to come up with this excuse and make these props! Oops.
Roach: Wait. Something's different here. But I can't put a finger on it...
Memnock: There will be no training today.
Shope: 'Cause you got new cool dude shades that might be too dark?
Zenblock: [muffled] No!
Roach: Ooh! Because you're playing pirate?
Shope: With two pirate eyepatches, which is always a bad idea.
Zenblock: There is no training because we've come down with swink-eye.
Memnock: It's a space-oriented eye infection... that looks like this!
Memnock: And we totally can't see and totally can't drive into space and get curative eyedrops in Beta Sector.
Tyler: Might I suggest homeopathic tea made of foraged shrubs and herbs?
Zenblock: Might I suggest that you come closer so that I might swat your head?!
Tyler: Wait! I know. We'll fly into Beta Sector and get your eyedrops!
Memnock: That's not a bad idea.
Zenblock: That might actually work.
Zenblock: Now remember. No Earth snacks of any kind in the Galacticus.
Noobs: Got it.
Zenblock: And the ship must return in perfect condition, or I will crush you!
XR4Ti: Setting autopilot mode now.
Memnock: The XR4Ti is your autopilot, so no stopping anywhere and no sticky juice boxes. Understood?
Kevin: [slurping] Got it. No juice and no mess!
XR4Ti: Sticky juice box crash mode [powering down] now...
Zenblock: Hey, hey! What was that?!
Tyler: Ha, situation normal! Everything's normal here!
Memnock: Good, and whatever you do, don't press any buttons.
Shope: Oh, don't worry there, big eye-infected guys. Everything is under control.
Kevin: What did you just do?!
Shope: I was trying to act cool, 'cause you're not, and I messed up, okay?!
Tyler: All right. This is not a time to panic.
Shope and Tyler: [screaming]
Kevin: I think I just panicked in my pants.
Tyler: Okay. We just gotta get this steady and get back to the meadow. And which button does that?
Kevin: Let's try this one!
Tyler: Wrroooonngg.... butttoooonnnnn...
Roach: Myyy faaacceee.... iiiissss meeellltttiiinngg...
Kevin: [through gritted teeth] Time... for the next... button.
Kevin: Ha! awesome, I got a great track record driving spaceships.
Shope: Video games don't count.
Kevin: Yes, they do! They totally count!
Shope: Then what do we do at the space stop light?
Tyler: They have stoplights in space?
Kevin: Oh, that's simple. You do this!
Kevin: Okay. But it's not like a space cop saw us.
Kevin: Okay, so a space cop saw us. Now we just need to find the getaway button.
Tyler: No more buttons!
Space Cop: [speaking alien language]
Tyler: We don't understand. We mean no harm!
Shope: I don't think he speaks horrified Earthling. [police siren]
Tyler: Fine. One more button.
Roach: Ooh! My turn!
Kevin: Okay, just for the record, I was totally gonna press that button.
Zenblock: I can't stand not seeing and I can't stand my itchy eyes and I can't stand you!
Memnock: I'm over here.
Zenblock: I can't stand you over there!
Memnock: Didn't the Noobs say that Earth tea could soothe our eyes?
[crash, goat bleat]
Zenblock: I am not making tea for my eyes.
Memnock: I'm over here.
Zenblock: Stop moving! Where are the Noobs with our medicine?!
Kevin: Once again, proof that video games are the solution to all problems.
Tyler: I can't believe we might get out of this without a single scratch on the Galacticus and... look out!
Kevin: For the record, I did not press one button.
Shope: And for the record, that looks bad.
Roach: I have a feeling this is gonna be really, really, really, really bad.
Roach: [lovestruck] Not bad.
Princess Parsa: So, I'm guessing you don't know I'm Princess Parsa, the toughest rebel fighter in the galaxy?
Roach: I'm the Roach. I love you.
Shope, Tyler, and Kevin: Not now.
Princess Parsa: You just trashed my ship.
Kevin: You can't prove that.
Princess Parsa: And you ruined my mission to save my planet from Queen Beeanca's Hyper Hive. So guess what?
Princess Parsa: You're all on my mission now.
Shope: Um, I wouldn't recommend that. We're basically terrible at everything we do.
Tyler: Besides, we're already on a very important mission: to get eyedrops.
Princess Parsa: Then I'm commandeering this ship!
Kevin: Fine! But you can't get a scratch on the ship or press any-- [scream, crash] I'm okay!
Memnock: All right. According to Earth, we let the tea bags absorb the hot H2O.
Zenblock: Okay. How do we do that?
Memnock: I guess you grab the pot with your bare hands and pour.
Zenblock: Makes perfect sense to me. [screams] It's so hot! Walk into my flailing arms so I may swat your head!
Memnock: Now why would I do that?
Zenblock: [cries] Oh, my gloy... I'm so sad.
Roach: I know this is a weird moment, but will you marry me?
Princess Parsa: Ugh... you're a little young for me.
Roach: How 'bout now?
Princess Parsa: Still too young.
Roach: How 'bout now?
Kevin: Uh, I'm sorry to break up this moment here, but what is that?!
Princess Parsa: That is our mission. And it's not over until we destroy it.
Tyler: I feel the need to remind you that we're under strict orders to return this ship to Earth in perfect condition.
Princess Parsa: Not a problem. 'Cause we're now in a tractor beam.
Kevin: Okay. So we stay here while you do what you have to do to save your planet, then we all leave.
Princess Parsa: Try again.
Shope: We help you find the main control room so you can disarm the Hyper Hive and maybe capture the evil queen?
Princess Parsa: Right after we stop the Swarm Troopers.
Swarm Troopers: [buzzing]
Swarm Troopers: [buzzing]
Kevin: Man, I hate this mission.
Shope, Kevin, and Tyler: [screaming]
Roach: Wow. They're really terrible shots.
Princess Parsa: Or amazing, 'cause they just blasted our escape! [grunts]
Tyler: [grunts] Huh! It's the control room.
Princess Parsa: And the main panel! It'll let me save my planet and probably the galaxy.
Queen Beeanca: Who dares enter my Hyper Hive?
Princess Parsa: It's Queen Beeanca! But we have her outnumbered.
Tyler: And we also have... battleballs!
Shope: But she can sense vibrations and [straining] she has six arms.
Tyler: [straining] Little help?
Princess Parsa: [grunts] What do we do now?
Tyler: We... teleport!
Tyler: Now we usually just hang out and wait for Mem and Zen to save us.
Princess Parsa: Oh. I can take it from here.
Kevin, Roach, and Shope: [scream and grunt]
Kevin Ha! I finally hit the right button.
Princess Parsa: [gasps]
Roach: What? Is she your long lost mother, which would be weird because she's a bee-like creature?
Princess Parsa: No. She's got... swink-eye!
Queen Beeanca: My whole hive has it. And we can't see a thing!
Shope: Ohhh... that's why the Swarm Troopers couldn't hit us.
Princess Parsa: So you're not trying to blow up my planet and eventually the galaxy?
Queen Beeanca: I hit the hive ray by accident. I'm just trying to get to Beta galaxy for some eyedrops.
Tyler: Then don't worry, queen. We'll take you there.
Queen Beeanca: Oh, that would be great.
Zenblock: [panting] Where are you now?! I still want to swat your head!
Memnock: I'm still behind you! And I still can't see a thing!
Memnock: Wait! I think we're in the meadow.
Tyler: Mission accomplished, awesome alien trainers of ours.
Kevin: One swink-eye eye dropper delivered as promised.
Zenblock: Okay, someone just pick it up and spray it in our faces!
Memnock: Oh, sweet relief! It's all better.
Zenblock: [gasps] And look! Not a scratch on the Galacticus! Haha!
Noobs: [various agreement]
Space Cop: Is this here your spaceship?
Memnock: Of course. She's the greatest ship in the history of the universe.
Space Cop: Then you'll be happy to know you're getting the most tickets in the history of the universe.
Zenblock: Well, at least the Noobs left the Galacticus in perfect working order. Haha.