The Noobs Meet Count Venamus/Transcripts
Memnock: We've called you Noobs here because Benevolent Alliance super-leader General Blorgon and the elders have demanded a full inspection of virus fighting units and their battleballs.
Kevin: Yeah, well we demand a vacation! An awesome one. We've been busting our butts fighting the virus, and--
Kevin: Got it.
Zenblock: And don't forget the General's number one rule: In intergalactic virus annihilation...
Noobs: Always protect your battleball.
Memnock: Good. Now, let's see 'em.
Tyler: We lost them.
Zenblock: You lost your battleballs?!
Tyler: We gave them to the Roach to keep safe in his hair and then they were gone!
Shope: To be fair, his hair is usually quite secure.
Memnock: Do you know what happens if the General finds out you lost them?!
Roach: We learn a valuable lesson and then may get a warm hug?
Zenblock: You get your brain sucked out with a swirly space straw!
Shope: But... we still have time to find them. Because I have calculated the travel time and... they are currently 4.6 billion Zelons away.
General Blorgon: Yoohoo! [menacingly] It's General Blorgon.
Shope: Oopsie. Forgot to carry the Gloog.
General Blorgon: And we bring with us great news!
Zenblock: You're canceling the inspection and leaving right now?
Memnock: It was so nice to see you. Bye!
Headees: The Earth warriors have earned the Alliance Prize for diligently safeguarding their battleballs
Technut: A virus-free week at Revnar 6, the galaxy's number one vacation getaway.
Kevin: Now that's what I'm talking about!
General Blorgon: And to claim your prize, just present your battleballs... [menacingly] for inspection.
Kevin: And now I'm not gonna talk anymore!
General Blorgon: And if you don't have them, we will suck out your brain with a swirly space straw!
General Blorgon: Mm-hmm...
Zenblock: [imitates alarm] Oh no! A virus alert! Everyone to battle stations for uh, far away from here to save the Earth!
Memnock: Uh, hurry! Go fight many big battles with your battleballs you clearly have, but need.
Tyler: Roach! You need to remember what you did with out battleballs.
Roach: But I gave up remembering things.
Tyler: His phone! We just need to find his check-ins, retrace his steps, and find the battleballs.
Shope: He went to the arcade, his house, school, and... Angry Bear Mountain?!
Roach: Oh, yeah. My dad takes me up there to teach me juggling.
Mr. Roachmont: Juggling is fun! Oopsies.
Tyler: Okay. Split-up mode. And don't come back until you find. Those. Battleballs!
Memnock: You know, I really like your pointy cape, General Blorgon. Dare I say I find it... "cape-tivating"?
Zenblock: Heh... is it me, or did the clock just get louder? [laughing nervously]
Tyler: Guh... no angry bears, no angry bears. And... my battleball! Well... that was easy.
Shope: Okay. If I were the Roach, I would come to the arcade, get tired, find a comfy place to sleep, and then lose my battleball in the...
Video Game VO: Fluffy Bunny Crane Game!
Shope: Wow. That was easy.
[video game music]
Bunny Toy 1: You love me.
Shope: No, I don't!
Kevin: Here, battleball! Here, red, shiny battleball! Ha! That was easy.
Jock Jockerson: Haha, sweet! I was looking for my gum I lost, but this is way better. Haha.
Kevin: Drop that ball, Jock. It's mine.
Jock Jockerson: Uh, you lost it and I found it, 'kay? Finders keepers, it's the law.
Kevin: I'm very aware of the law.
Jock Jockerson: Bye, dumb noob whose ball I found!
Roach: Hmm... the last time I had my ball, it was right next to my dog whom I love, and he eats everything. Wentworth! Did you eat my battleball?
Roach: Huh. That was easy.
Roach: Sort of.
General Blorgon: Okay, I'm officially tired of waiting.
Memnock: Guess who made smoothies! It's Earth's number one delicacy.
General Blorgon: Forget it.
Zenblock: They go great with swirly straws!
General Blorgon: Fine, we'll try the smoothies!
Headees: But we're tired of waiting for the battleball inspection and possible prize giveaway.
General Blorgon: And if they don't have their battleballs back soon... [slurps]
Zenblock: Heheh... Those guys. Why don't I just call them?
Tyler: [whispering] Huh. That was easy. The condor who stole my ball flew away and the angry bears that were chasing me just started their hibernation.
Tyler: It's for you. [screams]
Zenblock: Oh. What's that, Tyler? You saved the world and you are on your way and you very much appreciate General Blorgon's patience and pointy cape?
Memnock: Uh, great! Well, I'll call Shope to hear her say those same words!
Shope: Come on...
Bunny Toy 2: I love you.
Shope: Whatever you were gonna say, don't. And get to the arcade right now. It's space-themed! You fit in and I need quarters!
Memnock: Fantastic! You don't say? You just defeated another virus beast and will be back any second?
General Blorgon: If this is some sort of false delay you are doing, I will not hesitate to destroy every sing--
Zenblock: More smoothies!
General Blorgon: Ooh! Yes, sir. We love smoothies!
Memnock: Enjoy. We'll be right back!
Jock Jockerson: What kind of ball is this? Jock usually knows every kind of ball.
Kevin: It's called Kevin's ball and you should give it back to me!
Jock Jockerson: Haha. Uh, no. Jock ball!
Kevin: It's my ball, and I need it!
Jock Jockerson: I said the ball is mine!
Kevin: And I say... blast him, but not too hard!
Jock Jockerson: [groans] Okay. You can have Not-Jock ball...
Kevin: Now. How do I get back to the Galacticus and fast!
Kevin: Ha! That was easy.
Roach: Wentworth... go! Wentworth, go.
Roach: Wentworth! Go...
Roach: Wentworth, go. Go, Wentworth. Wentworth, go!
Tyler: Almost there... Just gotta...
Tyler: Yeah, that figures. [screams] Ha! Got it! Yes!
Tyler: [screams] Transport now!
Tyler: Huh. General Blorgon, sir. Ha, is the rest of the gang here with their battleballs? Like mine? See?
General Blorgon: No. No, they are not.
Tyler: Well then what am I doing here? Haha, when I could be out there finding them. [laughing nervously]
Memnock: Almost there... You're gonna get it this time...
Zenblock: Ugh! You made me goof up. And I was so close, and now I've got another bunny!
Bunny Toy 3: I love you.
Tyler: Wait. Why not just use your powers to get the ball out?
Shope: Unbelievable! Yes!
Memnock: Now, all we need is Roach's battleball and Kevin's.
Kevin: Got it!
Memnock: Scratch that. All we need is Roach's.
Zenblock: Transport now!
Roach: It's in Wentworth. I tried everything to get him to go, but nothing seems to-- Wait...
Tyler: It was in your hair the whole time?!
Roach: But... Wentworth burped a green glow...
Wentworth: [barks and burps]
Roach, Memnock, Shope, and Tyler: What did he eat?
Zenblock: I'm sure he's fine! Now, to the Galacticus!
General Blorgon: Time... is... up.
Tyler: Made it!
General Blorgon: Where's the obnoxious one?
Kevin: [laughs weakly] Right here, bald wonder! [grunts]
Technut: Inspection time!
General Blorgon: Hmm... with the battleballs intact... and fully functional, you, young warriors, have proven that you are taking great care of your battleballs.
Headees: And you've shown us the wonders of the Earth smoothie. We're addicted!
Kevin: Now bring on the vacation prize thing! Do it!
Technut: Enjoy your time at Revnar 6, the galaxy's number one vacation getaway.
Memnock: You see, Noobs? As long as you follow the number one rule in intergalactic virus annihilation...
Zenblock: You get to visit the number one fun place in all of the galaxy! Haha!
Noobs: [fake agreement]
Memnock: You lost them again, didn't you?
Noobs: Days ago.
Zenblock: Curse you, Noobs!